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Friday, 12 February 2010

Geoff, Ian here,
  better be quick, I'm borrowing one of the U.N. Blackberries (they've got the Bold 9700 Smartphone - swanky cunts). OK, turns out the NHS had invested their pensions in Shaft (on cross-eyed Phil's advice, of course) so when I fucked off with what I thought was several million pounds of big-titted nurse milk, I actually ended up with a fiver's worth of rotten tumour-juice, if you catch my fucking drift. Anguilla's governor got a dick up his nose when he smelt the money-fail, so I had to get off the island quicker than you can say 'mounting coke debts'.
  Only problem was, no cashish. Met a lovely bloke named Angelino, from Florida, here on business, told me he'd get me to Orlando if I helped him on a bit of import-export. Next thing you know, I'm in Port-au-Prince, driving a bus full of kids to the port. Seemed like an innocent bit of cash in hand to me, but then I got hauled in by the police on trumped up charges. Let me tell you Geoff, the Haitians are an ugly people, especially when they have 'proof' that you are planning to 'take their children out of the country and sell them for sex all over the southern states of America'. An ugly people I tell you...

Basically, I'll be in Zurich next week, I just might have a different name.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld