Geoff, Ian here,
  Actually, I won't be back in any U.K. taxable regions for another week. Phil's set me up in Monaco with his wife Tina. Those U.K. Uncunts have made everything a bit more complex for him, and the tax-man is sniffing round Phil's privates more than Cameron did at the '09 Tory fund-raiser. Basically, he can't give any more taxable income to his wife, so he's legally adopting me as his son.

I'll be honest, I was a little worried at first, but it's all hand-jobs and Martinis over here. Tina's a right fucking laugh. The other day she vomited a day's worth of vodka onto her dinner, and then forced one of the little waiter chaps to eat it! Classic.

Attached are a few legal documents for Mum and Dad. If you could just get them to sign it and send them back. If Mum won't do it then just get her declared legally insane again.

Great news about Cleese. Schoolboy error. Primary schoolboy. Yup, send the pics over. Have you got any videos? Tina loves that shit.