Geoff, Ian here. I've been across to the new office, but it looks like we're on a time share with a Cash Converters. I'll go back after they close and look through the HBOS files, see what I can dig up.
Evans would say that, but trust me; TSB's titties are bone dry, and they'll be wrapped round her windpipe before we can get her to cough up some capital.
Talking of golf, I've stopped playing at the Lunsbury because of the receptionist; she's Polish and I just don't like them touching my hands. Happy to go for a round once we get to Dubai, apparently you get your legs cut off if you even say 'recession' over there.
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Ian, Geoff Here. We've just had a briefing on where this downturn leaves us, looks like some of the boys in Swindon are about to feel the hard throbbing cock of redundancy right up their fucking shitter. We'll relocate you across the street but in the mean time I want you to brainstorm this recession situation - is there any way we can invest in this? Martin Evans tells me there's a lot more banks ready to come crawling for one more suck on the wad, I'd like see a hitlist by Friday if you can tear yourself away from that fucking golf course for long enough. Let's stick some serious debt-based finance into this steaming shitty mess.
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Geoff, Ian here. Apparently there has been some sort of economic downturn. I've arrived back in London and the office has been turned in to a Lidl. No fucking clue what it is, but one of the Polish lads tossed me off in the stock room for £3.50; and that's cheaper than Waitrose.
Anyway, Simpkiss topped himself and Jennifer's gone back on the game, so unless you get a real flare up, I wouldn't worry about the warts.
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Ian, Geoff here. Can't make tomorrow I'm afraid, David Simpkiss has been rimmed so hard he's chucked in the towel and I've got to go to Frankfurt and mop up the shit and piss. I hope you know what you're doing giving this deal to Shanghai - those cunts don't exactly have a good record when it comes to putting your cock in a pencil sharpener. I'm expecting you and your people to step up to the plate on this one and deliver some serious bosh profits-wise. Oh and tell Jennifer I've had the test and those warts are nothing to do with me.
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Geoff, Ian here. I've offloaded the Kraut-situ on to those pricks in the Shanghai office; no doubt I'll get a cock in my back pocket for that one, but who gives a gilded tit, at least the shit-fan's not blowing the air round my office. No offence mate, but inbred or no, at least Jennifer doesn't have a fucking adam's apple. Wednesday is can-do by all means. Lets make it an early one though, last week I pissed all over the seagrass, the wife came downstairs and I was asleep in the dog basket with a semi lob-on. Fucking nightmare.
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Ian, Geoff here. I find it hard to accept your criticism given that, despite being given over a month to seal this deal, you succeeded only in the remarkable feat of putting together an acquisitions team with less talent than my grandfather's septic ballbag. Maybe if you spent less time drilling that dribbling inbred whore of a secretary behind your wife's back and more time giving the end of year figures a good fisting you might not find yourself in this sorry mess. See you for drinks on Wednesday?
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Geoff, Ian here. You've fucked me right in the mouth with the Berlin deal. I can't touch it for a year once you've done your business in that hole. If you see my wife, tell her I'm sorry for calling her a cunt.
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