She truly was the queen of hearts.

Last time I had Pastis I shit myself at a wedding. Though it was at the reception, so it went down a storm with the rest of the lads.

The integration meeting has been postponed till Friday, Tony said he would tell you? He told me this brilliant joke about thalidomide babies and foxes, you'll have to ask him about it. Absolute fucking gem that Marsh. I asked him about your wife but he didn't recall her name.

Ian.


Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Ian, Geoff here. Sorry I wasn't at the integration meeting today, I've only just got back to the UK. Woke up on Saturday afternoon with a stonking hangover in a bush somewhere in Calais. Fuck knows how I got there, there was no sign of my passport nor my trousers. Last thing I remember is being chucked out of the Slug and Lettuce on Friday night for arguing with some wanker at the bar about the derivatives market. After about half an hour of thick black sick that smelled of pastis I managed to find my way to a police station but it's taken four days to get a replacement passport out to me. Anyway I'm somewhere in Kent now, will be back in the office tomorrow. I was chatting to someone on the train earlier who used to work with Marsh. Tell your mate Big John that if he wants something to fill his rag he should ask around and find out why Tony Marsh spent two weeks in a Saudi jail in 1998. Although I say 'rag', I actually read a really good article in there the other day by Michael Winner. Well, I say 'read', there was a photo of Diana on that yacht with Dodi and you could see a good 2 inches of cleavage. Such a waste.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Ian, Geoff here. Let me tell you one thing about Tony Marsh - Tony Marsh is a fucking cunt. Not because he////; fucked my wife. Not cos I was passed over for prom/;'otion twice last time he was my boss. No iaN, cos he's a FUCKING cunt.
Oi Ian why did you leave the pub so early you p ussy prickholee/?? We were just getting started!! jus getting Started. I'm still here Ian. I'm stlil here!! Mine's a Bailey#s yeah? MINE'S A BAILEYS


';; kl;kl;dsj;lkjjjjjjjjjjjj


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From: Steve Mason (steve.mason@shaftcapital.co.uk)
Sent: 18 February 2009 10:48
To: ITStaff
CC: Tony Marsh (tony.marsh@shaftcapital.co.uk); Eidur Helgusson (eidur@shaftcapital.co.uk);

Right, I obviously got first dibs on Cleese's shit, so this is what's left. If no one wants it, I'll put it in a box, we can all wank on it, and I'll send it to the jail anonymously so he gets put in isolation.

 

 

And I think I speak for the whole of IT Management, Co-Ordination and Implementation when I thank Eidur for his contribution to Shaft. Moving forward, I would also like to welcome Tony Marsh to the 'Shafters', and extend our capacity towards him, moving forward.

Steve Mason

Head of IT Management, Co-Ordination and Implementation

Shaft Capital 

From: Eidur Helgusson (eidur@shaftcapital.co.uk)
Sent: 18 February 2009 10:36
To: AllStaff

Dear all,

I am writing to inform you of the regrettable news that Paul Cleese's consultancy working with Shaft has come to an end. Paul has been embedded in the management team since last February, and has contributed a great deal to our business, instrumental as he was in the back-office synergies created in the Swindon and Reading offices, not to mention his pivotal role in synthesising new e-strategies for the business in coalition with Steve Mason and the rest of the IT team. It is with heavy hearts, then, that we have decided to bring his consultancy to an end, due to the current difficult market conditions and a pending police investigation.

You will also be aware by now that I am stepping down as MD at the end of February. I have had a memorable three years with the company since stepping in after Jeff Shaft's tragic and unexpected massive coronary back in March 2006. I will be returning home to Iceland to take up a new challenge, working with the government in Reykjavik to rebuild the country's shattered economy. I'm sure I will be able to draw upon a lot of the valuable lessons that I have learned from you, my friends and colleagues at Shaft Capital! Tony Marsh will be replacing me, who many of you will know from his previous spells at the company. Tony has worked in the financial and construction industries for close to three decades, and can count among his recent achievements a key role in the building of the world's largest artificial outdoor ice rink in Abu Dhabi, a director's position at Lehmann Brothers, and 18 months on the Treasury select committee under the Major government. I wish him every success at Shaft, and I hope you'll all make him feel very welcome. I suggest a 10-year single malt as a start!

Yours,


Eidur Helgusson

Managing Director

Shaft Capital